Paige Williams Writes.

Buzzspeak. Computer lingo. Facebook chat. AIM and Digsby and–remember it?–ICQ. Technology today has left a footprint on our everyday speech, and it’s a small one that’s surprisingly huge.

What?

Allow me to elaborate using a conversation I had yesterday with a client. During said half hour meeting, my client (who shall remain nameless to protect her dignity), managed to say, “I’m out of pocket Wednesday, so don’t call then,” “I’ll get that to you ASAP,” and “Let’s link up tomorrow.” Let me add that all of these statements were punctuated with “OMG,” and even one (gulp) “LOL.” I got off the phone, head whirring, wondering when we humans became interchangeable with computers. For, last I knew, I’d never been “out of pocket” (or “in pocket” for that matter) in my life, and sure the world spins fast, but don’t we have time to say, “as soon as possible” anymore? And I don’t want to link up with you, as I’m fresh out of USB hubs, but if you’d like to chat, I’m available.

The more I thought about today’s abbreviated butchery of language, the more concerned I became. I like words. I like full sentences and punctuation and the use of correct grammar. I think everyone should know that it’s your lunchbox and that you’re cool. I don’t understand what’s confusing about their books and the desk over there. I dig that there are (not there’s) more to words than just writing them down. I even like taking the complicated route to the end result.

But in today’s world, it seems like language and grammar and words as I lovingly learned them have eroded into a sea of dumb. I feel out of place, adrift on some nameless sea, with no one to hear me call, “Please help, good people, I’m stranded in my over-worded head with not a sole to converse with.”

( Translation: “SOS, ASAP!”)

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